I have recently been reminded of my own subtle mortality.  Who am I kidding?  Its been happening a lot more than just recently.  Little things are again working to undo my sense of security and stability.  I thought that I was ready to resume my life in the bay, but did I once again jump the gun?  Some might characterize my behavior over these last few months as post-nostalgic, as someone who was ready to cross my own little "bridge" with a can of gasoline in tow.  But lets not be cliche.  Graduations coming a little too soon for my own clear comfort.  Change sucks.

My aspirations are muddled.  I wonder sometimes if this whole show hasn't been some mistake.  I feel like I have an itch that I can't quite scratch.  There is SOMETHING lingering over me and I can't figure out what it is.  damnit.  I feel like I should be doing something great in my life, and more so, that the time to engage in greatness is NOW.  Three more years of edumukation awaits me, though... a reality that makes me groan. 

Maybe its normalcy.  I am far from normal, but normal to some.  I am far from taboo, but a heretic to others.  I hate angles.  Angles suck.  Fuck angles. 

No one reads this.  I want In n Out.  I want a beer.  A nice German beer.  I want change. I want a tabula rasa. 

- b